The rise of Nubby.

Now I am living completely inside my head because I can’t talk. I am not sure what to call my amputated leg. I learned the technical term is stump. I decided that his name was nubby. So when I was thinking about things I always referred to my right leg as nubby. This strange phenomenon is occurring with nubby, I wake up and he is standing straight up. Now being who I am there is a lot of room for humor that I can’t share with anyone. People would come to visit and I would be either laughing or crying and unable to explain why.

 The hospital decides I need long term care so I am being transferred out. Because I have a trach I can’t go straight to rehab. I have to go to an acute care center. The one Greg chooses for me is select specialty hospital. He has toured the hospital and assures me it is nice. The thought of being transferred really scares me. I can’t convey my fear very well so once again I am in tears. I was told once that tears were God’s way of cleaning our eyes. Let me tell you my eyes are very clean. I am being transferred via ambulance. I always wanted to know what it was like to ride in an ambulance, Not very exciting or comfortable. Greg goes ahead of me and meets me at the new hospital.

 This is the darkest time for me. Wound care comes to change my bandages and I get the first real good look at my left foot. All my toes are black and except for my big toe most of my foot is black with gangrene. I am told I am lucky that it is the dry gangrene which means it won’t spread. I don’t believe in luck, thank you Jesus. I can’t stand to look at my foot so I have them wrap it all the way up. When I look at my foot I really don’t handle it very well. It just looks like death to me.


I am on a puree diet. You really haven’t lived until you have looked at a plate of food and you can’t make out what it used to be and the smell makes you want to vomit. The only meal I really eat is breakfast. It is hard to mess up cream of wheat. I would lie in bed at night and cry to the sound of my stomach growling. Needless to say I lose a lot of weight; I weigh the same as I did in Jr. High. When you are down to nothing but God you realize He is all you need.